About

 

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” – T.E Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia)

 

The above struck a chord with me when I first read it, what seems a lifetime ago. Simple, yet inspiring. The words aren’t mine but I recall them frequently.

 

I’m James.

 

From as early as I can remember, I was always very socially anxious and introverted… in fact I shied away from social events and parties. I was body conscious, embarrassed about my lack of success – most of all, I just didn’t feel “manly”.

I did my best to hide it. I was a performer. I would get up on stage and thrive. I found it easy to take a script and pretend to be someone else. To any outside observer, I was an example of confidence, but in reality, I was the opposite. The real world isn’t a stage. There’s no script, there are no characters. Everything is unexpected and improvised.

I was hopeless with women, and I longed to be attractive. I was baffled at how some men were labelled charming, attractive and mysterious, but I wasn’t. I became hooked on seeking validation from other people, and I would go out of my way to please others. I found it hard to say no to anybody, to assert my own barriers. I looked online for tips about what to say and how to act to seem confident and have good social skills.

But there came a time when I realised that confidence and social skills can’t be imitated. If you have deeply set anxieties in social situations, or a negative self-image, you can’t “fake it till you make it”. Once I realised this, in a matter of months, I shifted from feeling powerless in life, to feeling empowered. I felt more masculine than I ever had.

When I ceased trying to be somebody I was not and learned to express my genuine self without apology, everything changed.

And it can change for you as well.

Do you dream of feeling more masculine? Would you love to feel manly, sexy and confident? Do you feel like you’re falling through your life and letting opportunity after opportunity pass you by?

In this day and age, it’s unclear what a man’s role should be. No longer is a man’s duty solely to hunt and gather or to protect his tribe. Ask your average person what it means to be “manly”, and they will tell you it means to be sporty, to like cars, to be muscular, to shoot guns, to drink beer and to sleep with lots of women. We’re taught that to be an attractive man we need to look like Brad Pitt, act like James Bond and fuck like Wolverine. We’re told that we’re only successful once we achieve fame. Our vision of masculinity has been tainted. 

To be masculine is to be okay with who you are. It’s that simple. It doesn’t matter what drives you, it only matters that you have drive. It’s about how you relate to yourself, your thoughts, your strengths and weaknesses, and how that shapes the world around you.

 

This is AllMenDream’s ethos.

 

There are many men out there who are awakening to this truth and who are beginning to master themselves. Quiet but charismatic men who stand up for themselves and those close to them, who aren’t afraid to say no, or to argue against the majority. These men weren’t born this way. They’ve all struggled with insecurities and anxieties, they have just approached them with a different perspective than the one you’re currently under.

Are you afraid you’ll never find a girlfriend?

Are you struggling to build a social network?

Is your fear of failure holding you back from getting what you want in your relationships and career?

Maybe you’re sick of having people walk all over you?

I will teach you to be confident, charismatic and to control your anxiety through changing yourself first. Because internal change is the only way to dig out these deep-set habits and anxieties that hold you back. Once you’ve addressed these issues, you won’t need a script of what to say or a manual on how to act.

You will be honest about who you are and what you want. No longer will you be afraid to tell a girl you think she’s sexy, or to speak in front of a large crowd under pressure, or to stand up for yourself when someone crosses the line.

 

You will feel more masculine than you ever have.

 

What’s Next?

 

If you’re new to AllMenDream and are wondering where to begin, have a read of my guides.

 

But if you’d like to make a head start, sign up to the email list to listen to my free podcast, where I’ll teach you which advice you can trust, and which you should just ignore.

 

 
 
 

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